Chapter Four: I encounter a French lady

 (Charles Huntingdon is in London to claim his inheritance, and has met the Earl of Teesdale, the father of his friend Lord Staines)

  The next time I met Lord Staines he told me that his father had liked me very much, and that I might expect future invitations from him. Lord Teesdale, he said, was deeply interested in the General Election that would be held in the spring, and now that I was a man of property, he would be seeking to know how I would intend to use my influence in the borough of Bereton. This prophecy proved to be correct, and I was invited to Teesdale House twice more in the coming weeks, when his lordship was pleased to discuss with me my new prospects, the political situation, the chance of a peace treaty in the coming year and other matters.

                                 (An English nobleman; mid-18th century) 

    Being thus forewarned, and conscious of my ignorance of these great matters of state, I read as much as I could concerning them, and every day discussed the newspapers with the gentlemen at the club; and in consequence, I hoped I was then able to converse with Lord Teesdale in an intelligent fashion. I was careful to ask his advice on all points, and to defend my own opinions whilst at the same time being respectful of his. He appeared satisfied with my approach, and encouraged me in any political ambitions I might hold. When I reported that settling my aunt’s estate was taking a prodigious amount of time, and that there appeared little chance of it being effected before the election, and cautiously mentioned that his son had suggested that I might seek the aid of his lawyers, he smiled and rang a bell and gave instructions to the footman who immediately appeared. Before long a sharp-faced man dressed in black like a cleric was shown into the room.

   “This is Oswald Jarrett”, Lord Teesdale told me. “He has worked for me for many years. He has the entire direction of my affairs, and I have the utmost confidence that he will infallibly unravel any problems you may have with your inheritance.” Jarrett bowed slightly without ever taking his eyes off my face. I outlined my situation briefly, he asked one or two questions and then departed.

   “There!” said Lord Teesdale, “Now there will be no doubt but that the property will shortly be in your hands. I do not always enquire how Jarrett achieves his results, but achieve them he does, and quickly too!”

    I said that we had not discussed any fees, but he brushed this aside, and soon afterwards I departed, feeling more confident.

 

   One of these discussions with Lord Teesdale continued until very late in the evening. He was kind enough to serve me his best wine, which I consumed with pleasure; the result being that I eventually left, I felt exhilarated and happy rather than tired. I declined offers of a link-boy with a lantern to guide me home, and instead decided to take a night-time walk.

   I had not proceeded very far when I was approached by a woman. My adventures with Lord Staines and his friends had accustomed me to such incidents, which we would usually ignore or dismiss with some jesting remark, but this woman was different. She was well-dressed and well-spoken, and her accent showed that she was French. I entered into conversation with her, and being in a happy mood, put my arm around her, which she did not resist.

  She suggested I should accompany her to a nearby tavern. It was a clean and respectable-looking place, and the gin we drank was good.  She said she had noticed me leaving Teesdale House and asked me whether I was a frequent guest there; and she appeared very interested when I described how I had been discussing the current political situation with the Earl. I felt greatly flattered as she sought more information, and could not resist making myself appear a person of importance by recounting how I had met the great Mr Fox at a dinner there. While we talked she pressed herself closely to me and hinted that she was entirely at my service for the night.

   I wondered what to do next, and where to go. I thought I could hardly bring her back to my lodgings under the eye of my ever-vigilant landlady, and instead allowed her to conduct me to a nearby house.

    This was to be my initiation into the higher mysteries of love. She was older than me, and vastly more experienced. Probably she found my efforts clumsy, but she contrived to sound thoroughly aroused, moaning and gasping both in French and English and constantly urging me onwards, until I was exhausted by our exertions and fell asleep.

 

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   When I awoke I was alone. Only one candle remained lit, and it was a mere stump, guttering on its side. I guessed an hour or more must have passed. I hastened to light more candles from it and looked around the room. Not only had my companion in love disappeared, but so had my snuffbox, watch and purse!

   I resolved to leave directly, lest worse befall. I found my cane lying in a corner: It was not much of a weapon in an emergency, but I had no other, for I had come without my sword. I dressed as silently as I could, and felt my way on tiptoe down the stairs in the darkness. I was greatly relieved, though surprised, to find the main door unbarred and the key left in the lock. I could not account for this most fortunate laxity other than by the probability that the French lady had departed in haste with my stolen property.

   I attempted to open the door silently, but it made a creaking noise that sounded alarmingly loud to my nervous ears. I paused, and it was well I did so, for I then heard a pitter-patter of footsteps approaching. I withdrew to a dark corner, grasped my cane firmly and prayed I would not have to battle my way to freedom.

   A little kitchen-maid entered; barefoot and raggedly-dressed, and looking no more than ten years old. She was no danger in herself, but what if she screamed and wakened the entire house? I grabbed her from behind, lifted her up and clamped my hat over her face to muffle any cries she might make.

   “Now, my dear”, I whispered, “I mean you no ill, and if you keep silent, you will come to no harm. I am no housebreaker or burglar: indeed, I have myself been robbed and I am trying to escape. Keep silent and let me leave, and you shall have sixpence. Do you understand?” She did not cry out, but kicked back with her heels and succeeded in catching me a blow in a private area, so it was only with great difficulty that I avoided crying out with pain.

   It was no easy job to open the door while keeping hold of my cane and the child with the hat covering her face, but I contrived to force it with my foot until there was a gap wide enough for us to pass through. Outside it was dark and very cold; rain had been falling and the filthy stones underfoot were slippery. I walked round a corner out of sight of the house, then removed my hat from the little maid’s face. She was very angry but not tearful; indeed, she now turned her head to spit at me.

   “Don’t do that, my dear!” I said gently. “I fear I cannot give you the promised sixpence, for the French lady has stolen my purse. Never mind: instead you may keep my hat, which I can assure you is worth far more than sixpence. Why don’t you now run off to take it to the place where my stolen property has gone? I’m sure you know where it is! Oh, and one more thing you can do for me. Please be good enough to indicate the way to the region of this city where the richer people live."

   She took hold of the hat and looked at me. For a moment she gave me the ghost of a smile and waved a direction with her right arm. Then she turned and ran, not back into the house but away barefoot across the cobbles and disappeared round a corner, no doubt bound for where the receiver of stolen goods plied his trade. I never saw her again. It occurred to me that if she was given a good wash and had her hair combed, she would be as pretty as many a girl I had seen in the better parts of our capital. I was suddenly filled with pity for her, condemned to a wretched life without love or guidance and with only curses and beatings to look forward to. I hope that the poor child escaped being hanged for her thieving. I resolved that, when I was able to afford servants of my own, I would treat them humanely.

 

                                 (Old houses in 18th century London)

   I had no notion of where I was in the town, and I wandered for what seemed like many hours through the cold and wet, keeping always to the wider streets with only a feeble moon to light my way, until at last the sky began to brighten in the east and I found myself in a district I knew. I must have looked a sad sight to the tradesmen who were now stirring. When I finally regained my lodgings my landlady was already up and admitted me without comment, though my appearance, dishevelled, soaked with rain and bareheaded (for I had somehow lost my wig during my adventure) must have confirmed any views she might have held concerning the dissolute habits of young gentlemen. But I cared nothing for that at the time as I collapsed on my bed fully clothed, and slept for a long time.

 

   For some time afterwards, I feared the onset of the pox, though happily nothing ensued: I deemed that I had enjoyed a fortunate escape, and had learned a lesson well worth the cost of my stolen property. I could not help feeling sorry for my paramour: it was sad that a person of such evident qualities (for she spoke English fluently, and with much refinement) should have sunk so low.

   I had thought it best not to mention of my adventure to anyone, but found I could not resist telling Henry Darnwell, whom I thought would be most likely to understand, that I had passed a night with a certain French lady.

   “Oh, la belle Danielle, was it?” he laughed. “Well, you could have done worse! You are now entitled to join the by-no-means-exclusive society of her admirers. As for the membership fee you will have paid: I think you may avoid the pox with her, though you may have found that it cost you your purse, or other small personal items, for the adventure!” I admitted ruefully that this was indeed the case. He laughed again, and then added, “We tried to persuade Staines to take her on, but he refused. I believe the experience could have been greatly to his benefit.” 

     My adventure determined me to resume my life of continence; at least for the moment. As for the fair Danielle, I was to meet her again, years later, and in very different surroundings.

 

     Despite my avoidance of gaming, I now found myself in perplexing financial difficulties. Duns were appearing at my door almost daily, demanding with increasing insolence payment for debts, many of which I had no memory of incurring; while at the same time the bankers refused to increase my allowance until my aunt’s estate was finally settled. I was obliged to replace the items I had had stolen, which resulted in yet more debt. My friends laughed at my plight, explaining that, although honour demanded the prompt settlement of gaming debts, no gentleman ever paid his tailor until many months, or even years, had passed. Lord Staines said that he always ignored the duns: he was resolved to pay all his debts, but not yet. He hoped shortly to be returned as a Member of Parliament, which would render him immune to arrest for debt, and he advised me to seek the same course.

   Lacking this means of escaping my creditors I sought to stave off the tide for a while by selling certain items of clothing and other fripperies to cover some of the bills. I prayed that my new friends did not learn of this! I was glad that Staines had not persuaded me to change my lodgings for somewhere more fashionable and expensive, and as a further measure of economy, I reduced the frequency of my nocturnal wanderings.

 

   It was not until more weeks had passed that the lawyers, presumably hastened in their labours by Jarrett, finally assured me that all legal matters had been settled and that I was at last the proud owner of a house known as the Priory in the manor of Bearsclough close by the ancient borough of Bereton. My new life was about to begin! I resolved to waste no more time in London, but set out immediately. I said farewell to my friends, promising to return as soon as I was sure that my affairs in the country were in order. Staines congratulated me, and gave me the benefit of his advice on how to proceed when I entered my future home.

    “You have never been the master of a large number of servants, have you?Well, they will all be watching you, and assessing you. You must impose yourself upon them from the very first day. Describe precisely how you wish things to be done, and be sure to find some fault, no matter how small it might seem. Let them know from the start that you will not tolerate any disobedience or slackness in the performance of their duties. Set strict rules, and do not hesitate to dismiss instantly the first who breaks them. By this means you will ensure yourself a manageable household. Otherwise you will awake one morning and discover they have become insolent in their manner, or are even stealing from you.”

   I said I would bear this in mind. 

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