Cast in
order of appearance:
Lord
Chamberlain
Cinderella
Baron Hardup
Gertrude (first ugly sister)
Marguerita (second ugly sister)
Page
……………………………………………………………………….
(Sound of
bell ringing. Door opening)
Lord
Chamberlain: Is your
master in, child?
Cinderella: Yes, sir: I’ll fetch him (she
exits)
Chamb: (aside) If she’d wash the
dirt off her face, she’d be quite a pretty little thing
(Footsteps)
Cind: Here’s a visitor, father.
(Cinderella exits)
Baron
Hardup: What can I
do for you, my man? You haven’t come with a bill, have you? Because I’ve
explained: I will pay everything in full; it’s just that right now …..
Chamb: Do you have any daughters living in
the house, Baron? It’s them I need to see.
Bar: They haven’t been ordering more
dresses and jewellery, have they? It really is too bad! I’ve told them again
and again that I won’t be responsible for their debts, and they simply take no
notice! Can’t you tell them? They might listen to you!
Chamb:
Baron, I am not a debt collector. I am Lord Chamberlain to His Majesty the
King. What I have to say to your daughters could be greatly to their advantage,
and yours. Just call them, please.
Bar: Oh,
your grace! However could I have made such a stupid mistake! (Claps hands)
Gertrude! Marguerita! You’ve got a very important visitor!
Chamb: (aside) Idiot!
Gertrude
and Marguerita (enter,
chattering) What’s happening? Who’s this?
Chamb: (aside) Good grief, what a hideous
pair! Still, orders are orders. (aloud) Young ladies, I come on a
mission of the highest importance. At the ball last night, His Royal Highness
Prince Charming danced with a mysterious young princess, who then unaccountably
vanished, leaving only a single slipper. His Royal Highness was so taken with
the beauty of the said princess that he has vowed to wed her as soon as she may
be found. To this end, I am commanded to ask every young lady in the city to
try on the aforementioned slipper until the true wearer can be identified. Let
us therefore proceed. Page: the slipper!
Page: Here, sir.
Gert. and
Marg. (together):
Me first! Stop pushing! Out of the way! Ow!
Gert: Give it here, you moron! (Grunts and
groans as she tries on slipper)
Chamb: It’s clearly far too small for you.
(aside) That’s a relief!
Gert: It’s my feet! I danced so much last
night they’ve swollen! It would fit normally.
Marg: My turn now! (Grunts and groans)
Chamb: It
doesn’t fit you either
Marg: I
think I’ve developed a bunion
Chamb: (aside)
I can’t imagine the Prince would be disappointed to hear that. (aloud)
Well, Baron, I’m afraid these two don’t qualify. Are there any more young
ladies in your household? What about the girl who answered the door?
Gert: Oh,
she’s nobody
Marg: Just a servant. Besides, she wasn’t
at the ball: she was here, working in the kitchen.
Chamb: But, Baron, didn’t I hear her
addressing you as father?
Bar: Well, yes, there is another
daughter. Her name’s Cinderella. But she doesn’t get out much. Too shy, you
know.
Gert: You’d be wasting your time.
Chamb: Nevertheless, Baron, His Royal Highness
has commanded me to try the slipper with every young girl in the city. So would
you be good enough to call Cinderella in here? (aside) It’s no more than
a very long shot, but I’m going to do it anyway, if only to annoy these two
revolting hussies and their ridiculous father!
Bar: Cinderella! (claps hands)
(Cinderella
enters)
Bar: Cinderella, the gentleman here wants
you to try on a slipper
Cind: Yes, father
Gert: Look who’ll be getting a swelled
head!
Marg: She’ll be insufferable after this!
(Short pause)
Page: Oh look sir! The slipper fits her
perfectly!
Gert and
Marg: Oh!
Chamb: So it does! Well, well! Cinderella,
you must answer me truthfully: were you at the ball last night?
Cind: Yes I was, sir, and I danced with
the Prince; but at midnight I had to run away, and I was in such a hurry that
this slipper came off my foot and I didn’t have time to pick it up.
Gert. and Marg: (together) But she can’t have
been! It’s not possible!
Chamb: (aside) Hmm. With a decent
hairdresser and dressmaker she could be made to look quite presentable. The
Prince could do a lot worse. The next step must be to get her away from her
appalling family. (aloud) Now, Cinderella, your whole life is about to
change. You must come with me to the palace. No need to pick anything up; we’re
leaving immediately!
Bar: Just a moment, your grace. If you’re
taking my beloved little girl to meet the Prince, I don’t suppose you could find
your way to lend her poor old father the odd fiver, could you?
